


Love Is Stored In The Parabatai

by Kissa



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bottom Alec Lightwood, First Time, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, No Curse, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Top Jace Wayland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28106349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa
Summary: The memory demon incident triggers a series of long overdue confrontations and admissions.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 14
Kudos: 59
Collections: Jalec Secret Santa 2020





	Love Is Stored In The Parabatai

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shirasade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirasade/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy this fic and it's what you expected!  
> Happy Holidays @shirasade !

_When Alec was twelve, after witnessing the grown-ups around him have such a hard time with staying in love and being nice to each other, he prayed to the angels that his one true love would be easy to find, even though he almost never left the Institute alone._

_The next day, Robert Lightwood came home with Jace._

* * *

  
Alec wished the ground would open and swallow him whole, so he would not have to look the others in the eye. Especially not Jace.  
  
And in a way, he got his wish, because the memory demon angrily tried to snatch him and nearly dragged him to the hell realm from whence he had come.  
  
Jace jumped between the smoky, hideous tentacles and his parabatai, being the one who was grabbed instead. Then it was all up to the new girl, the one who had come and brought so many threats and risks into their lives. Clary mercifully decided that Jace’s life was worth more than her memories and she killed the demon.  
  
In those long moments where Jace lay unconscious on the floor of Magnus Bane’s loft, Alec felt his whole existence come to a standstill.  
  
He heard himself beg Jace to come back to them. This could not be the way he lost his parabatai! Not because of his weakness! He was supposed to protect Jace in battle, not bring about his death!!!  
  
Alec didn’t care about anything in that moment - not his sister explaining things to Clary in the back, not the High Warlock cracking a joke at Jace being unresponsive -

… then Jace took a deep breath and coughed. Alec felt his heart restart in his chest. 

Only now did it hit him that Jace had literally jumped between his parabatai and a demon’s grabbing tentacles, without a shred of regard for his own life or for his own safety.  
  
Anyone else would have taken that as a clear sign of love, beyond that which was reasonably expected. But Alec told himself it was just what Jace did, sacrifice himself recklessly for others. He wasn’t special.  
  
Now that the danger was gone and the demon was dead, Magnus Bane came to tell him there was nothing to be ashamed of and Alec couldn’t believe his ears. Did Magnus think he had panicked and risked the mission and everyone’s lives because he didn’t want the others to know he was gay? He was pretty sure Izzy had known before he himself had, and Jace probably knew too, somewhere in the back of his mind, in the corner of his head where _Useless Shit Jace Wayland Doesn’t Care About_ was stored. And that was not a big deal in Alec’s book, just another way he was a let-down for everyone. And he could not care less what the annoying new girl and the warlock thought.  
  
But the thought that Jace would know, that he had seen how much Alec loved him and in what way, now _that_ was the reason why he had panicked and had gone and broken the circle. They were parabatai. He was supposed to be a source of strength and safety for Jace, not a source of worries and suspicion.  
  
With a little bit of luck though, Jace would dismiss everything and focus more on the new girl, and Alec’s huge fuck-up would be glossed over and forgotten about.  
  
But later, at the Institute, they had a new falling out over Clary.  
  
“What exactly is your problem, Alec? She’s one of us.”  
  
“She may be a Shadowhunter but she is not one of us.” Alec said. “Since she came into our lives, we’ve been going on unsanctioned missions, breaking the Accords, risking our lives and the lives of others, playing with shit that is way above our clearance level… I said it, and I’ll say it again in plain terms: I will die for you, Jace, but I will not die for your need to get laid.”  
  
“Wow, you know nothing about me, _parabatai_.” Jace spat the word like it was an insult, and it did feel like a whip catching Alec across the face. “You think everything is about _fucking_ to me? I know what it’s like to have no one, to lose everything you thought you knew in a matter of hours and then be surrounded by strangers whom you cannot trust. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to prevent a fucking war. If Valentine gets that cup, we and the entire Shadow World are as good as dead.”  
  
“Hey, assholes!” Izzy’s voice rose higher than their arguing. “Stop bickering like two cats on a roof and sort your shit out like you always do, we have bigger things to worry about. Have a sparring match or something, whatever it is you do. You’re parabatai. Act like it.” 

Alec looked at Jace and bowed his head. Izzy was right. They were both being dicks.  
  
“Training room in five?” Jace asked, one corner of his mouth raised in an amused look.  
  
Alec nodded and went to change, rushing to the training room.  
  
“Are they always like this?” Clary asked. “And has anyone told Alec that Jace knows?”  
  
“Is it that obvious?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been in high school. Jace is clearly waiting for Alec to make a move.”  
  
“Maybe getting a mundane upbringing isn’t completely without its advantages.” Izzy said, dragging Clary away to get more stories while they raided the kitchen for some dinner leftovers.  
  


* * *

  
Meeting Jace in combat, on the mat, was different this time around. It felt more loaded, more meaningful somehow. Alec could not quite put his finger on why it was like that.  
  
Nothing was changed, on the outside. But there was a new level to Jace’s focus. A new, dangerous intent to his blows, which he landed infallibly on Alec.  
  
“Come on, keep up. I know you can.” Jace ground out. “This is important. Possibly the most important talk I’ll have.”  
  
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Alec gave back. “And I’m trying, but you’re ruthless and I don’t have my bow.”  
  
“Learn to adapt. Weapons are easily lost. You’re the only weapon that counts.” 

“Like you? You’re more of a tool though.” Alec bit back, landing a punch to Jace’s liver.  
  
Jace’s recovery time was so short, Alec didn’t even register the kick as it sent him to the mat, flying through the air until his back hit the bouncy surface with a loud thud.  
  
But instead of remaining standing and gloating, Jace was on Alec right away, straddling his hips and getting _uncomfortably comfortable_ on top of Alec’s cock. 

Alec’s eyes widened and a gasp escaped him.  
  
“Ah, there you are. So glad you could join us.” Jace said with a small laugh. “And before you deflect and do that thing you do, the one that annoys me to no end, no, I’m not mad you broke the circle. Expecting a memory demon to cooperate was a stupid-ass idea. Who even had it in the first place?” 

“Magnus, I think.” Alec said in a small voice. Jace was terrifying like this and Alec noted with unreserved surprise that he was both scared and aroused. 

“Anyway, now that I have your attention, I’m going to ask - are you ever going to tell me what you want? Because Alec, if you never ask, the answer will always be no.”  
  
“Why don’t you go first? You’re Mr. Confidence around here.”  
  
“Because what I say usually goes. And I don’t want you to feel like I bossed you around into giving me more than you’re comfortable with. I’ve seen Maryse do that enough, I don’t want to add to it.”  
  
Alec tried to grip the mat on either side of him and squirm away. He felt a wave of shame wash over him for how easily Jace cracked him open and exposed his deepest wounds. Jace was right and Alec swallowed hard, thinking that maybe, if he did the right thing this time around, he wouldn’t only reap sadness.  
  
“You could have anything and everything you wanted, Alec. If you just asked for it. Name your terms.” Jace said, springing to his feet and heading out the gym, towel in hand.  
  
Alec was left sitting on the mat, extremely confused and aroused. He felt that this was a key moment in his life and that, if he let it pass by without acting, it might never come around again.  
  
Jace’s words rang in his ears and he replayed them a few times. When it finally sank in that Jace had practically offered himself on a silver platter, Alec sprang to his feet and chased after his parabatai.  
  
He caught up to Jace on the hallway outside his room. It was the only room separate from all others, the one in the bell tower.  
  
Jace had made it really nice. When he had come to live with the Lightwoods at the Institute, he had been allowed to have one of the rooms on the same hallway with Alec and Izzy, and at first, Maryse and Robert hadn’t known there was a problem, because Alec had let Jace sneak into his room and sleep with him when the nightmares threatened his rest. But later, when they had been older, Jace had suddenly been reluctant to keep sharing Alec’s bed the way they had as kids; and his nightmares had had him screaming everyone awake on several consecutive nights, which had resulted in Maryse telling him to make the room in the bell tower a livable one and move there.  
  
The once dusty and cobweb-filled room was now a comfortable space. Jace had even fixed the plumbing in the adjacent bathroom, and had re-applied the enamel on the old tub, being the only proud owner of a bathroom with a tub in the whole Institute, aside from the Head’s quarters. And while there wasn’t much sunlight coming in, due to small windows, Jace had cleaned the stained glass panels and his room had the most magical light - at day and at night - because of the way it filtered through the colourful glass shards.  
  
But all of that was known to Alec and didn’t matter as he followed Jace into the room, closing the door and runing it.  
  
“Jace!” He warned, right before wrapping an arm around his parabatai’s waist and flinging him against the door. He pinned Jace to the door with his own body, wrapping Jace’s legs around his own hips. “You want my terms? How’s this for terms? I’ve loved you since the day you set foot in that training room, when you were ten. And with time I thought it would be enough if you were like my brother, then my parabatai. But I want you, Jace. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything and anyone else. I want you to be mine, all mine; I want to be yours, too. I need it. Being with you is the only time I don’t feel lost. How about that?”  
  
Alec sealed his confession with a kiss, their first kiss of hopefully many. He wasn’t experienced or smooth about it, but he poured all his love, his need and his desire in the gesture, managing to bruise Jace’s lips with the sudden unleashing of his pent-up passion.  
  
“Fuck,” Jace spoke, sucking his lower lip in and gathering the spot of blood that was forming near one of the corners, where Alec had bitten in a bit too strongly. “Finally.”  
  
Jace tightened his arms and legs around Alec, hands going up to card through the soft, black curls, while his hips ground against Alec’s in a very suggestive way.  
  
“I want you so badly too. Ever since I turned sixteen and my body reacting to you exiled me away from your bed. I’ve been dreaming of the day when you finally claim me as yours.” He purred in Alec’s ear, nipping at it.  
  
Alec laughed softly.  
  
“Well that will have to wait and you’ll need to put in some work too. I haven’t done much with anyone and I really don’t want to risk hurting you by fumbling.”  
  
“Alright, seems fair.” Jace said, easily freeing himself from Alec’s hold, although he had enjoyed it immensely when Alec manhandled him and pinned him to the door.  
  
He applied more runes to the door and walls, to make sure no one would come interrupt, then he turned his attention to Alec, who now stood, a bit unsure what to do with himself, in the middle of the room.  
  
“Take off all your clothes, Alec. And get on the bed.” Jace instructed.  
  
He knew that if he started undressing Alec, his parabatai would not have enough shreds he could wear and be decent while leaving Jace’s room later. Impatience and exhilaration ran through Jace now like electricity and he was making great efforts not to give in. 

Plus, the directions helped calm and ground Alec, who, now that things were getting real, was as nervous as Jace, only in his case his nerves were tinged with insecurity. Jace could feel in the bond that Alec was worried his clumsiness would ruin their first time and leave Jace with a bitter aftertaste of the experience.  
  
Luckily, no one in the world knew how Alec worked better than Jace, who also knew clear and simple directions would settle his parabatai’s racing mind.   
  
Jace had his own workout trousers and other gear off in a heartbeat, going to get the lube from his nightstand.  
  
Alec undressed and went to sit on the bed, swallowing hard when he noticed Jace was completely naked already and unselfconsciously moving about the room. His eyes briefly darted lower, between Jace’s lean and corded thighs and he gasped. Of course Jace was _perfection_ in every single way. Alec didn’t even mind his parabatai’s dick was thicker than his, a shiver of anticipation running through him when he realised he would get to enjoy that… and in what way.  
  
Jace let himself slowly take in Alec’s naked form. For the longest time, Alec had been this small, wispy boy, and then puberty had struck, making Alec move and feel like a grounded albatross. But now, as a man, he had filled out so beautifully. Everyone else thought Jace was envious or resentful that Alec had grown taller than him, but Jace himself loved that detail. Alec was the perfect size for him to snuggle into after battles, when their parabatai bond required them to get close and recharge it with physical affection. He loved the full body hugs and how Alec could guide his head to a shoulder and then kiss his temple while scritching the short hairs on the shorn side. 

He sat on the bed near Alec, leaning in for a kiss. He purposefully kept it gentle and sweet, while one hand caressed the side of Alec’s face, briefly cupping the jaw before moving downward to his chest and side, all the way to his belly, then to his hip and down his thigh.  
  
Slowly, Jace guided Alec to lie down, without interrupting their kissing. He knew the very needy and aroused sounds were mostly his and he couldn’t be arsed to be self-conscious about them. Alec had the most delectable lips and he was a fast learner. Kissing him was heaven and Jace privately kicked himself for having waited for a demon to kick them both into gear to admit to their feelings, when they could have had this a lot earlier.  
  
He only needed to run his hand down over Alec’s hip and thigh once more for his parabatai to spread his legs and let Jace rest between them.  
  
Both boys sighed at the feeling. They fit together effortlessly, as though their bodies had been made for each other.  
  
Jace ground his hips into Alec’s, making their hard cocks slide against each other and earning a gasp and a moan from Alec, who squeezed his eyes shut against the new sensations that were threatening to overwhelm him.  
  
“Alec. Open your eyes. Look at me.” Jace coaxed, leaning in to kiss the exposed side of Alec’s neck, his jaw and finally, his lips. “I want you here with me, not in your head.” 

He then rolled his hips into Alec’s once more, a short, forceful thrust, to give him a little taste of what lay ahead. 

“You like that?” Jace asked, gently tugging at Alec’s lower lip with his teeth and releasing it in time to let Alec nod.  
  
“I… I do. Jace, is it supposed to feel this… intense? I feel like there’s no blood left in my head at all.” Alec asked, looking up at Jace. 

Jace couldn’t help but crack a smile at his parabatai’s words and he looked down between their bodies, where Alec’s engorged cock dripped a small clear trail on Alec’s lower belly.  
  
“Well it looks like all the blood is down here, so you might be right.” Jace replied. “Let me see if I can make this a bit worse.” He added, grabbing the lube and scooting lower on the bed, grasping Alec’s shaft and looking up at his parabatai over it.  
  
“Oh… fuck no… Jace, I won’t last.”  
  
“You don’t have to. This thing reloads.” Jace commented, tapping on the tip of Alec’s dick with a fingertip and bringing it to his lips, sampling Alec’s flavour like someone who’s just dug their finger into some frosting. “Oh, I’m going to love this.” Jace added, before lowering his head and wrapping his lips around the cock in his hand, still looking up at his parabatai.  
  
“Fuck… please… I… ohhhhhh-aaaaah” Alec was reduced to incoherent sounds just from seeing Jace look up at him like that. Feeling those gorgeous lips wrap around his shaft and then the welcoming, soft inferno of Jace’s mouth engulf his entire length did him in. He could barely feel his contours. Everything felt so intense, his whole body felt so alive and alight with pleasure in response to Jace’s every touch. He could feel Jace’s hands kneading at the soft flesh of his inner thighs, igniting pleasure even from that mild, innocent contact, while Jace’s mouth around his cock sent lightning up and down his spine. With every downward stroke, Jace took more of him in, and once he figured out how to breathe in that position, he let the tip of Alec’s cock hit the back of his throat, smiling triumphantly around his mouthful.  
  
When their eyes met, Jace looking up and Alec watching him in awe, it was all the older boy could take and he came down Jace’s throat without warning.  
  
Jace had been expecting it, feeling Alec’s anticipation and pleasure build up and his control wearing thin in their bond. He managed to swallow without much effort, licking Alec clean too before letting go of his cock and getting the lube.  
  
“How’d that feel?” Jace asked, still licking his lips. He looked over Alec, who lay bonelessly beneath him, skin aglow with a light sheen of sweat and panting. “ FYI, that was just the intro. We haven’t even started yet.” He added, earning himself a surrendering moan from Alec.  
  
Next, he squirted some of the lube onto his fingers, letting it warm up a bit before bringing them to Alec’s opening and coating it in the slippery substance.  
  
Alec was pliant and aroused out of his mind by now, so Jace was not surprised to see his parabatai’s body accept one finger with little resistance. As tempting as it was to give in to his own need and Alec’s, Jace willed himself to be patient and watched as Alec’s body accommodated to take in two fingers, then three, with generous additions of lube.  
  
“Let’s see if I can… hmm… there?” Jace thought aloud, curling his fingers inside Alec and looking for that spongy-feeling spot. When Alec sprang up, nearly folding himself in half like a jack-knife, he knew he’d found it.  
  
“What… did you just do?” Alec asked, now eye-level with Jace, panting and blushing all the way down to his nipples, Jace’s fingers still inside him.  
  
“Me? Not much. I was curious if what Izzy told me was true…”  
  
“The correct number of fingers you should have up my ass while bringing my sister up in conversation is zero!!!” Alec said, lying back down and remaining propped up on his elbows. “Do that again.” He added, sounding uncharacteristically bossy. 

Jace complied with a grin. He did not see an issue with talking sex stuff with Izzy, she was by far the most experienced of the trio and she was not likely to give so-so answers, like Jace’s Seelie friends tended to. Besides, Izzy’s advice had paid off so far.  
  
“Put your left leg up on my shoulder. You’re tensing.” Jace directed. “Good. Now, where were we?”  
  
He resumed rubbing his fingertips over Alec’s prostate inside him, watching his hand nearly disappear inside the now relaxed enough hole.  
  
Adding more lube, he slipped the fourth finger inside his parabatai, loving that he could actually feel the muscle yield under his touch. For a moment, he indulged in the fantasy of one day being allowed to slide his entire hand inside Alec and watch him fall apart completely. Normally his thoughts didn’t go to such extreme places, but there was a certain ease and lightness to how Alec’s body responded to his touches that was absolutely intoxicating.  
  
By now, Alec was hard again and he was squirming on the bed, watching Jace and biting his lower lip, trying to hold back from begging him to hurry. His hips had no qualms though, rolling against Jace’s hand and trying to get more friction from the fingers currently buried inside.  
  
Jace judged Alec ready soon enough, using his free hand to lube himself up, before he knelt between Alec’s legs and positioned himself.  
  
They locked eyes and a silent conversation took place between them, Alec nodding his assent and taking a deep, calming breath as he watched Jace remove his fingers from inside him and replace them with the head of his cock.   
  
“Fuck. This is going to be so fucking quick, especially after watching you beneath me for this long.” Jace commented, pushing all the way in and pausing to readjust their bodies to the way he wanted them to be.  
  
He lowered himself over Alec, letting his weight drive him deeper inside, and he guided Alec’s legs up and around his hips while he held himself up on his forearms. Satisfied with how close they were, at least for the time being, he gave a tentative thrust.  
  
Alec’s lips parted in a silent scream and his eyes locked with Jace’s. They were finally joined, the way they had both dreamed of since they were too young to know what it meant.  
  
It was a lengthened moment, suspended out of time, in which they took in the flawless way their bodies fit together, the way their souls flowed into each other and danced in a surge of happiness neither boy had ever felt before, the way their bond felt bigger and more powerful than ever, drawn up like a shield around the both of them. And none of the things they had been warned about happened. The skies did not split open and Raziel did not come to curse them. On the contrary, if the ecstasy they both felt descend over them at the moment was any indication, the angels were loudly and explicitly approving of their union. 

Alec felt an indescribable and all-encompassing feeling of peace and rightness fill him, like he was finally where he needed to be and his purpose had been revealed to him. The sense of relief that settled inside him made him push against Jace’s cock inside him wantonly. 

“You feel that too, Alec?” Jace asked in awe. All trace of cockiness was gone from him and he sounded just as overwhelmed as Alec felt.  
  
Alec nodded.  
  
“I’m all yours, Jace. Take me, claim me, mark me. I’ve waited for so long. Please.” he managed to get out, his voice choked with emotion.  
  
“I love you, Alec. There’s never going to be anyone else.” Jace whispered, leaning down and capturing his parabatai’s lips in a gentle, reverent kiss, before starting to fuck him like their lives hinged on it.  
  
The silence of the room was only split by the sounds of their bodies moving against each other and their moans and panting.  
  
Alec’s renewed erection was trapped between their sweaty abs, getting rubbed on with every thrust of Jace’s hips, and soon, Alec was right there on the edge again.  
  
“So close… Jace. Please, I-” Alec heard himself beg, he didn’t know exactly what for. It was definitely not permission to come, because he was beyond being able to control his body at this point. The next words that left his lips carried his wish across. “Please come with me, my love.”

He blindly sought one of Jace’s hands with his, interlacing their fingers and hoping his parabatai was as close as he was.  
  
Then Jace looked at their joined hands, then at Alec. They tumbled together over the edge when their eyes met again.  
  
Jace thought he might die from the intensity and beauty of it. He could feel Alec’s walls squeeze down on him rhythmically as white hot pleasure shot up his spine, then filled every corner of his being as he watched Alec arch off the bed and quiver from the same sensations coursing through him. Alec came between their bodies, this second orgasm much more intense than the first, making him black out from the overwhelm of it all.  
  
Jace gasped at noticing that Alec was out cold, smiling and resting his forehead against his parabatai’s for a moment, before gently pulling out and waiting a few breaths until he regained control of his body. Going to the bathroom, he brought a towel dipped in warm water and he wiped first Alec, then himself clean.  
  
When Alec came to, he saw Jace reclining next to him, watching him with undisguised love and smiling. 

“Thank you,” he said, smiling back at Jace.  
  
“You don’t have to thank me, Alec. I love you. And my love is the one thing you never have to beg or grovel for. I’ve always been yours.”  
  
“What about all those Seelies you hang out with? What about… Clary?”

“My father taught me that some intel is easier to get by being sweet and not a threat. And Seelies know a lot of shit about stuff I am interested in. Like how to make good Nephilim boys come until they pass out.” He laughed, satisfied with the full body blush his words caused in Alec. “And Clary, I told you, is like I was many years ago, alone among people she doesn’t know. Except I had you and Izzy to soften the blow. Besides, Clary is on to us. She may be a mundane with no training in our warrior ways, but she has the Sight in more than one way.”  
  


* * *

  
The next time Clary sees Alec, she thinks he is a new man. And was that… did he just smile at her? Her eyes drift to Jace, who is watching Alec from the side like he’s seeing a cherry tree blossoming, and that makes all the pieces fall into place for Clary.  
  
They will tell her when they feel ready, but for now, she has her theory and she is 98% sure she is right. Yes, she does find Jace unsettlingly hot, but he also comes with a tragic backstory and a level of drama she genuinely doesn’t have time for, especially since she still needs to rescue her mother from the clutches of a maniac with the closest thing to superpowers.  
  
What Alec and Jace share is definitely a deeper bond than most men she knows even allow themselves to dream of, and she is happy they sorted out whatever was making their mojo glitch, because, if Izzy is to be believed, it is better to be fighting alongside a parabatai pair than against them.  
  
When Valentine reveals that Jace was never his son by blood, that he is, in fact, the son of Stephen and Céline Herondale, it overwhelms Jace in an unforeseen way. His whole past is suddenly not his own, and things he believed to be true all his life vanish in smoke under the revelation that the Inquisitor is his grandmother, and instead of being an unwanted stray picked up by the Lightwoods out of pity, he is as close to royalty as it gets among the Nephilim.  
  
It takes Clary explaining to him, in ample terms, that the freedom and power he gained dwarf the things he was holding onto for so long. That now he can change his world with a simple gesture and make a difference in more ways than by spilling his own blood for the cause.  
  
Jace’s first gesture as a Herondale is to pull Alec into an all-consuming kiss right under Maryse’s shocked gaze.  
  
But in the end, it’s not that controversial, because Maryse is a calculating woman. On one side, her son is gay, which is a downer, but on the other, if he can keep the favour of the Herondale heir, the Lightwood name and reputation are set for eternity.  
  
All Jace cares about in the moment is seeing Alec beam at him in one of his beautiful, radiant smiles, the kind that makes his eyes sparkle, once their kiss ends. The happiness that mirrors his in the bond confirms to him that home, for him, was and will forever be in Alec’s arms.  
  
(the end)


End file.
